Do Ʊ call him smart or a good liar?

A married lawyer had sex in his car forgot †ђξ girl's pant in the car.

His wife saw the pant at the back seat tore it apart screaming

'honey, what's this?'

He calmly replied,

"Ʊ just destroyed the evidence of †ђξ rape case worth ten million naira D̶̲̥̅̊åτ̲̅ I'm handling.
She quickly went on her knees apologising.

Do Ʊ call him smart or a good liar?

Go to their Mother!!!

A man & his wife had a quarrel. After the fight, the wife went into the bedroom.

Few minutes later, the husband also trooped into bedroom only to find the wife
busy packing her suitcase! He asked "you're packing! Where are you going to?"

She answered "to my mother" the man paused for a while & also got his big brown pure leather suitcase & started packing his clothes.

The wife got angry at him and asked;
"You are packing! Where re you going to?"

He replied "Oh ya! I'm going to my mother!"

The wife replied, "to your mother!! And what about the 6 children! Who is going to look after them?" The man replied, "you are going to your mother! I' m going to my
mother. The 6 children should go to their mother!!........LOL!!!

PSALM 23 (NPEV) NIGERIA PIDGIN ENGLISH VERSION

1. The Lord na ♍Ɣ shephard, i d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. kampe..
2. E make M̶̲̅Ƹ sidon ƒø̲̣̣я̅ where betta d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. flow and come put M̶̲̅Ƹ next †☺ stream make mai bodi thermacool.
3. E panel beat mai soul come spray am
white, come d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. lead M̶̲̅Ƹ
d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. go through express road of righteousness sake of Hin name.
4. Walahi! if I waka pass where arm robbers,419 and juju people boku, come even join boko haram, reach valley of the shadow of death sef, mai bodi d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. inside cloth.
Ɣ☺ΰя rod and staff nko ? Na so dem dey like back bone
dey comfort me.
5. You don prepare ‎​​Ǧ☺☺ϑ food on top †ђε
table make I chop. All mai enemies dey look waa waa. You rub M̶̲̅Ƹ ƒø̲̣̣я̅ head wit vaseline intensive lotion. mai cup na River Niger wey overflow hin bank.
6. True true, betta life and mercy go gum mai back till I quench. And man pikin go tanda ƒø̲̣̣я̅ God house from lai
lai †☺ lai lai. GOD
ALMIGTHY NAYOU BIKO AMEN

2 PILLS ONLY

Woman 2 Doc : "My Husband is not interested in sex".
Doc : Give these pills 2 him every day, put 1 pill in his tea. She did and they had sex which they enjoyed.
Next day she puts 2 pills in his tea & they enjoyed much more.
The 3rd day, she emptied d whole bottle in d tea.
Two days later Doc called to know d progress, son replied " Mom is in coma, Aunty is in hospital, Maid is suing 4 rape, My ass is hurting & Dad is running naked in the garden shouting Bingo! Bingo!! Bingo!!!...

Birth Month

Which is your birth month ??

January =:> bold & Rude
February = :> Lucky & loyal
March =:> Naughty & genuine
April =:> Caring & strong
May =:> Loving & practical
June =:> Romantic & curious
July =:> Adventurous & honest
August =:> Active & hard working
September:>Sensitive & pretty
October =:> Stylish & friendly
November :> Talented & creative
December :> Confident &
freedom loving.

I am ADVENTUROUS and HONEST.

smart sudent

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: A man lost a Thousand Naira note.

Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Student: No. I was standing on it.

LIKE REALLY? lmfao

I overheard this loud conversation @ a bus-stop.

"Yes my baby, am in Lagos now"...."Yes"

L for elephant,

A for Ego,

G for Jesus,

O for Authority and

S For Ester.

I became utterly confused

Pictures. lmffao

IF ONLY HE KNEW.......LMAO

FOR REAL. I COMMENT MY RESERVE.

Breeze don Blow

A boy caught his dad red handed wit d maid.


The dad told the son ''take dis 500 naira & don't tell ur mum please.


the son answered,but dad dis is unfair.


Mum gave me 1000 naira when I caught her with




the gate-man yesterday

NIGHT OF ESCAPE

Two mentally insane patients plot to run away from a mental facility @ night.




The facility is well guarded and the only way two escape is to beat up the the guards at the gate.




When the night of escape comes, the two patients walk to the gate armed with hockey sticks.




On arriving the gate, they find the gate open but the guards are not around.






They look for the guards in a nearby shed and when the guards where not found.








They postponed the escape.