Boss: I will pay you N30,000 per month
and in 3 months, I will raise it to N60,000.

So when would you like to start?

Potential employee: In 3 months.


Heheheh....I need a job, but can wait...

Jamb Examinations - What Cheating cost me.

I was sitting for Use of English at a JAMB Exam. I shaded the ones i knew, and waiting for manna to fall from Heaven when i noticed a very beautiful girl sitting beside me. She was shading and was not looking up. Through the help of my long neck, i peeped and checked her work, she was in number 65, i was still in number 21 and time was running out. I quickly thanked God and started shading along with her. We got to number 98 together, suddenly, she looked up, caught me and shouted in a low tone; "What are it? Why is you dey copying me? Copys! copys! You is not shaming! As big as you dey! You is a dull boys! You are a disgrace to your manhood." Na so i shout; heeeey! heeeeyyy!!! heeeyyyy!!! I am finished yay, who has eraser eeeehhhh?!!!!!!!

Do Ʊ call him smart or a good liar?

A married lawyer had sex in his car forgot †ђξ girl's pant in the car.

His wife saw the pant at the back seat tore it apart screaming

'honey, what's this?'

He calmly replied,

"Ʊ just destroyed the evidence of †ђξ rape case worth ten million naira D̶̲̥̅̊åτ̲̅ I'm handling.
She quickly went on her knees apologising.

Do Ʊ call him smart or a good liar?

Go to their Mother!!!

A man & his wife had a quarrel. After the fight, the wife went into the bedroom.

Few minutes later, the husband also trooped into bedroom only to find the wife
busy packing her suitcase! He asked "you're packing! Where are you going to?"

She answered "to my mother" the man paused for a while & also got his big brown pure leather suitcase & started packing his clothes.

The wife got angry at him and asked;
"You are packing! Where re you going to?"

He replied "Oh ya! I'm going to my mother!"

The wife replied, "to your mother!! And what about the 6 children! Who is going to look after them?" The man replied, "you are going to your mother! I' m going to my
mother. The 6 children should go to their mother!!........LOL!!!

PSALM 23 (NPEV) NIGERIA PIDGIN ENGLISH VERSION

1. The Lord na ♍Ɣ shephard, i d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. kampe..
2. E make M̶̲̅Ƹ sidon ƒø̲̣̣я̅ where betta d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. flow and come put M̶̲̅Ƹ next †☺ stream make mai bodi thermacool.
3. E panel beat mai soul come spray am
white, come d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. lead M̶̲̅Ƹ
d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. go through express road of righteousness sake of Hin name.
4. Walahi! if I waka pass where arm robbers,419 and juju people boku, come even join boko haram, reach valley of the shadow of death sef, mai bodi d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥. inside cloth.
Ɣ☺ΰя rod and staff nko ? Na so dem dey like back bone
dey comfort me.
5. You don prepare ‎​​Ǧ☺☺ϑ food on top †ђε
table make I chop. All mai enemies dey look waa waa. You rub M̶̲̅Ƹ ƒø̲̣̣я̅ head wit vaseline intensive lotion. mai cup na River Niger wey overflow hin bank.
6. True true, betta life and mercy go gum mai back till I quench. And man pikin go tanda ƒø̲̣̣я̅ God house from lai
lai †☺ lai lai. GOD
ALMIGTHY NAYOU BIKO AMEN

2 PILLS ONLY

Woman 2 Doc : "My Husband is not interested in sex".
Doc : Give these pills 2 him every day, put 1 pill in his tea. She did and they had sex which they enjoyed.
Next day she puts 2 pills in his tea & they enjoyed much more.
The 3rd day, she emptied d whole bottle in d tea.
Two days later Doc called to know d progress, son replied " Mom is in coma, Aunty is in hospital, Maid is suing 4 rape, My ass is hurting & Dad is running naked in the garden shouting Bingo! Bingo!! Bingo!!!...

Birth Month

Which is your birth month ??

January =:> bold & Rude
February = :> Lucky & loyal
March =:> Naughty & genuine
April =:> Caring & strong
May =:> Loving & practical
June =:> Romantic & curious
July =:> Adventurous & honest
August =:> Active & hard working
September:>Sensitive & pretty
October =:> Stylish & friendly
November :> Talented & creative
December :> Confident &
freedom loving.

I am ADVENTUROUS and HONEST.

smart sudent

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: A man lost a Thousand Naira note.

Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Student: No. I was standing on it.

LIKE REALLY? lmfao

I overheard this loud conversation @ a bus-stop.

"Yes my baby, am in Lagos now"...."Yes"

L for elephant,

A for Ego,

G for Jesus,

O for Authority and

S For Ester.

I became utterly confused

Pictures. lmffao

IF ONLY HE KNEW.......LMAO

FOR REAL. I COMMENT MY RESERVE.